Previously on Season 01 Episode 01

Thunder fire you,  weyre, Olosho, olori buruku, ewu, your mother prostitute,  expired fool, illegal idiot,  contaminated  nuisance, unfortunate fellow, low esteemed baboon,  foolish fool, ode, oloshi, mstchew….  Geez !,  wot nonsense……..
I know you are confused and you are wondering what is going on,  lemme rewind back to 20mins earlier before the whole incident..

20mins earlier..
Woke up a bit late today it’s unlike me,  yea i am feeling lazy but I have manage to gather up strength to get up and do the usual house chores,  things were going smoothly and very slow due to my morning laziness but I kept smiling,  the tort of getting to see Michael seems to have given me the little energy I have, even though I don’t know precisely when I would see him,  still in my smiling fantasy when I heard my name from the balcony

Judith!  Mother calls,  go and buy egg she said

Egg?  I replied a lil bit surprised

Yes, egg,  mother replied,  we are eating egg and yam today.

Reluctantly I manage to redress my self in a mini jeans short which is bomb short for my big sister,  we’ll dats how skinny I am but who cares,  slowly I drag my foot as I moved out of the compound. Slowly I picked up pace gradually as I crossed over the busy roads to buy the egg from Iya Rita,  [14 minutes to the time of the future action]  as I was conversing with Iya Rita on the sizes of the egg and the prizes, I over heard my name,  so I turned and I saw some group of girls laughing and looking towards me,  I did not feel too concern even though I knew they were gossiping about me,  I did finished my convo with Iya Rita,  and was about to cross over back to my house, wen I heard a voice saying “God save us from all these skinny Prostitute,  dem no get anything yet dem dey form”  It got to me tho but I kept calm and acted like I did not hear,  wanted to cross quickly so I won’t be tempted to turn back and see who actually made the statement but the road was busy, now the girl repeated it the same statement again, this time she made it clear she wanted my attention

Skinny Prostitute on  the road, hold the raw eggs well so you won’t fall down,  your clients won’t Come carry you if car hit you oh –  said the girl

Now she has done it,  I was vexed,  I turned to know which one of the girls have being hailing insults at me, the Funny thing is that the girl who has the guts to abuse me was a smallie of my size, tho she has a massive ass and has more body width than I.  Hmm,  I was too pissed off to even care that they were 7girls in number all what was on my mind was to give her the warning of her life,  I walked towards the group of girls as I reached closer to them, six of the girls took 2steps backward leaving i and abusive girl to face each oda,  the six others girls kept praising her and advising her to continue

Yes Bisola, beat her,  tell her the truth,  she can’t do anything – the other six girls yelled…

Is it me you were talking to?,  I asked

No it is my ancestors,  see foolish question –  Bisola replied

What did I do to you to deserve all this insults,  I asked again, this time my tone has increased harshly

Question for the gods –  Bisola replied

Pls and pls don’t ever try dat again in your life and in the next Life to come,  we have nothing In common, – I warned

What can you do,  you dis skinny dead vulture, – she replied… Almost immediately pushing her breast close to mine in a very aggressive way.
If dem born you well say any rubbish again,- this time I was trying to make sure I push her back with my own little breast

Skinny Prostitute, there is nothing you can do,  oloshhhhh!

She was about to call me Olosho,  when I used my right hand which I was using to carry 6ix raw eggs in a white nylon to slap her,  the raw egg slashed all over her face,  I could tell she could not see well due to the egg splashing and the shock of sudden slap,  so I seized the advantage,  as she was trying to gain balance, I used my left hand to send out another slap which sounded loud,  she staggered to the right,  I wasn’t done yet, I gained more confidence as I noticed I was at at advantage, yet I gave her another slap with my right hand again,  as she was still staggering and bending down I drag her hair to pull her towards me,  I did not let her reach close to me too much as she was facing down and her head was at my stomach level,  I decide to use my knee to jab her face up,  I guess my knee hit her hard on the face because she rose up almost immediately still managing to stagger to stand but I was too angry,  I set my leg at the back of hers as she was staggering back,  so she finally fell,  perfect moment,  I pounced on her and rushed her with multiple slaps meanwhile all her bad Belle  friends had run to call for help,  I was rushing bisola with multiple slaps when men who bisola friends had gone to call came to stop me,  they had to remove me from ontop her lying body b4 I could stop….

Thunder fire you,  weyre, Olosho, olori buruku, ewu, your mother prostitute,  expired fool, illegal idiot,  contaminated  nuisance, unfortunate low esteemed baboon,  foolish fool, ode, oloshi, mstchew….  Geez !,  wot nonsense –  all these I said out of anger while breathing heavily [it’s exactly 20min]….

What happen Judith,  kilo shele,  people asking and wondering what happened,  everybody facing me, expecting an answer from me since I have Beating bisola to the stage she cldn’t talk,  she was just whimpering…  My inner mind was happy and fulfilled before I finally replied the crowed.  She looked for my trouble and beat her up – I replied the crowed,  her mother was furious and was about to create another scenario when Iya Rita stopped and explained all wot happened,  by now I was home,  so I did not get to know what Iya Rita explained to them.

Where are the eggs,  mum asked

Yea i had to explain to her what happened earlier,  so she sent my elder sister to go buy another one.

Judith!  You wan kill person Pikin nii,  my sister yelled,  she was back from buying the eggs
Mummy you need to see bisola omo Iya alata’s face – she told my mum..

While my sister was busy explaining and describing the whole story she heard about me and how badly I beat bisola,    I was in the kitchen feeling like a boss while I was preparing breakfast.. Ok,  food is ready, 14mins after everyone had eaten and was satisfied,  everyone had an outing except me,  so I went to my room, jumped on my bed picked up my BlackBerry to chat only to see 5oo Bbm pings,  geezs I can’t read everything but I had to try, but the issue now is my bbm is hanging, 2 idiots have invited me into 4mutiple Bbm chats,  I was really pissed,  I had to delete my bbm and reinstall after struggling with it with no avail over 2hrs.

Finally my bbm is back after reinstalling,  immediately I updated my pm, reigning causes on whoever will invite me into another multichat..

Then I got a ping!  From someone I was not expecting..
It was tunde, we’ll tunde and I have issues,  he has toasted me before and I refused,  I and some of my male friends already know tunde was a womanizer and he always  want to get under the pant of anything that wears skirt even if it was an alien or a lioness,  the annoying thin is that he is never handsome,  not that he is ugly tho but he is not in the ranks of guys people can call handsome or manageable plus his extremely burnt in complexion,  even as he is burnt in complexion  he seems to have his way around girls..  Due to my crazy sense of humour and the wild things I do on social media to gain attention, I get a lot of stupid chats and requests from strangers like “send me your nude baby”, I will suck you baby” some go as far as sending me the picture of their dick,  sighs! I have suffered but sure I have a standard.. First I don’t like sharing my nude pixs, I hate it with passion,  secondly I hate foolish guys that think I am cheap and stupid. Well tunde happens to be in the second category of people I hate..  Well I just have to reply him anyway. And so the chat started..

Tunde: sup

Me: Am gud

Tunde: How are you dng

Me: fine and you

Tunde: am cool,  sowie via your pm,  naa all those bloggers go dey invite people to their yeye Bbm multichat..

Me: abi ooo,  thanks jare

Tunde: How school life naa

Me: I am managing…

I decided change my bbm pm just to gain a little attention,  so I updated “if you love me send me a voice note to prove it” usually I know Michael won’t fall for that neither would he even act like he never saw my pm, so I wasn’t expecting anything from him but to my surprise……



I’m available for any blog admin that needs my services……
You reach me on

Fb: olanrewaju michael
Twitter: @itz_miichaell
BBM pin: 5934C760