I am in my mid-20’s and have a healthy appetite for sex. I like to know if a man is really good in bed before committing to having a relationship with him. Most of the time, I sex-test my dates before deciding whether I like them or not. As a result, I’ve broken off with a couple of my dates after having unenjoyable sex with them.
Now my friends tell me that I’m getting a reputation for using and dumping men. That is the furtherest thing on my mind. How do I change this opinion? Jade, by e-mail. Dear Jade, Plenty of women have sex early in a relationship and there is nothing wrong with that. But if some of these friends who are warning you are genuine friends you can trust, then perhaps you should tread more softly. A man (and a woman, come to that) doesn’t want to be tested, he wants to know you like him and that sex is an expression of affection as well as passion. You can sleep with a guy after you’ve found out that you will get on with him. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you should instantly have a deep commitment to him. It simply means getting to know him and working out any problems the relationship might have instead of walking out.