In 2007 i met this guy in Lagos and we started a relationship, he stays in one of the slum part of Lagos with no job and a drop out of one of the polytechnic although he didn’t tell me this but i found out myself and i as at the time was already a graduate and working in an advertising company with very nice salary package in Lagos.
In 2008 i got an apartment myself with my money and decide to help this guy by taking him to the landlord that if the money expires he will continue to pay that he is my fiance and we are planning to marry and all the documents and key were given to me and i get him in submission…..with this i decide to start something from bottom with him and build life together. But about 3 month later this guy just abandoned me. He left the house to where he was staying before and refuses to pick my call i tried to ask what i did but he gave excuses. I begged, but hell no, he left me.
Then 2009 i processed to study abroad and i traveled out to study and i moved on with my life…So in 2010 he saw my pictures abroad and he was shocked and contacted me on facebook to beg me that he was sorry that he felt i’m bigger than him in all areas and he is still struggling with life that was why he left me. I ignored him but in 2011 i had second thought i felt age was not on my side anymore at 30 that i should forgive him and start again with him so 2012 after my program i relocated back to Nigeria but before then i told him i’m an orphan… my brother and sisters lives in europe so the only people i have are distant relatives.
In 2012, when i came back i had no where to live so i contacted him to help me rent an apartment cause i still got some money for that. Then he said oh people don’t respect single unmarried ladies and not safe in Nigeria that i can come stay with him, then from there we don’t know God’s plan…So, i came to Nigeria and stayed with him. This is something i don’t want to do cause of the sinful nature but i had nowhere to go…so after four month i told him i don’t like living like this… so he suggested maybe we should go to registry by ourselves then i move back abroad then i bring him over because he has never traveled abroad and he doesn’t want to marry and live and have children in Nigeria cause Nigeria is so hard and that later we should marry properly.
So we went to registery just two of his friends…That morning i wasn’t too comfortable to do this but i had to because of my age and i don’t want to embarrass him…So after this, i discovered this guy is so aggressive. When we have argument you could hear from the third house, even on the road people on the street will hold him to take it easy. So hot temper after he will apologize. It was tough for me as i’m always very scared when he’s shouting.
He stays in “face-me i face-you apartment. I was always sick i was lonely and unhappy. He doesn’t want me to have friend. He will be singing abusive songs when we have issues at home. I take care of the house his clothes he will say its not clean…It’s was tough yet I still stayed with him through it all. I couldn’t get a job in nigeria and i didn’t get pregnant for him so my family abroad told him he must marry me properly that they are coming to Nigeria. So in 2013, my family came to Nigeria to meet his family so he came with his mum and two sisters and they asked him when he will pay my bride price and when we are going to do church wedding, he said later(with no precise date). So Later, i left Nigeria cause he insist on me coming back here and bring him over.
So 2014, anytime he called me from Nigeria and i didn’t pick his call, he will start shouting on the phone saying whatever you achieve is for yourself and not me and i’m happy for you, imagine him sounding so aggressive even on phone. Then i decided and told God i don’t want to go back and bring this man from Nigeria. I’m beginning to have high blood pressure and he started to say different things to people. He said i left him and he started pasting my pictures all over internet and telling known and unknown people how he sponsor me abroad and i got a job and dump him.
I saw all this with my own eye i felt bad and decided to move on. Now since 2014, i stopped communicating with him and i have got peace of mind but i am scared if i did the wrong thing or not. I really want to start my life afresh but i don’t know. He has not paid my bride price and no church wedding but i only went to registry with him. Really don’t know how. Please i need advise from you
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